Two Become One

Two Become One

I have an overwhelming urge to begin this post by grabbing an imaginary mic and blowing air into it to find out if it works. Pfff! Pfff! I will then tap it three times to further confirm that it really does work. Then I will boom into the microphone and with a loud voice announce; “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here today to witness the union of these two blogs.They have previously lived separate lives and today, having finally opened their eyes to how stupid and tiring that was, they have decided to finally come together as one. Will the two please step forward? Perfectly WOMAN please stand to my right. Yes. Move closer please. Ok. Reneeisssance, you stand on my left. Yes, there. Thank you. And now, I would like to request for your attention as we get the ceremony underway…”

That would be interesting. Especially since Reneeissance will be the bride and Perfectly WOMAN will be the groom. Reneeissance always felt so feminine to me with its soft sweetness as opposed to Perfectly WOMAN which was mostly factual and stern. Merging these two blogs gives a bit of both worlds; that of soft hardness, sweet sternness… perhaps?

With the union over and done with, we could now take a tour around our new home?

The lone mattress is now sitting on a 4×6 bed (We will still get to 6×6 – baby steps) We have a large living room, several bedrooms, bathrooms and toilets. There is a fridge in the kitchen that is stocked to the brim-feel free to help yourself. There are cold drinks and a few bitings. There is also previously cooked food that is still good for your consumption – you can toss that into the microwave as we take a tour around the place. See if you can whet your appetite before the next meal.

For those still in a scurry to get a place to put their belongings, head to the bedrooms and pick a closet for yourselves. You will fill out the closets with your belongings as we all settle in. I see you Winnie, yes you, with your Kamukunji at the corner talking in murmurs…move along guys!

I tried to make this place as homely as possible. Painted it with my favorite colours, cleaned it up a bit. The vase at the corner is to be handled with care. I am yet to put a few things in place but what we have now is a functional home. You might find some of the gadgets in some of the rooms not working as expected, and I hope you will bear with me as I put final touches here and there as we go along. Should you therefore find that I moved the furniture to a different position in the next couple of days, it will be because I discovered that it wasn’t working the way it was.

Here’s the deal.  Every other day, I will come up here and cook you guys something to devour. I will try to make it nice and interesting. The Reneeissance, will have a variety of menus as opposed to what we had separately at Reneeissance (you notice the difference right?) and Perfectly WOMAN. One guarantee is that there will always be food. Be it end month or mwezi corner we will not know of scarcity. I will rock my ‘Kiss The Chef’ apron (I won’t mind if you insist on carrying out those instructions hihi!) and I will work that cooker and that oven like Martha Stewart never existed!

You will be welcome to share ideas in the living room. Make a point of taking the time to exchange ideas on the meals that you were served; were they appropriate, did you like it, if not why did you not like it? What do you think of the cooking? What do you think of the new place? What do you think of the cook? Would you like to kiss the chef some more perhaps? I see those of you nodding your heads and I am jotting down your names and listing you under “the naughty ones”

If you feel that the food is not enough, speak up. If you want more variety added to your menu, speak up. If you want more frequent servings, speak up. If you would like to help with the cooking by ‘guest posting’ again, speak up.

In all this, I have only one agenda: To sharpen my cooking skills. I will cook to a point that my cooking will blow your minds – do let me know when it does. With every meal that I put before you on the table, my cooking will have taken one more step to becoming what I want it to be. So I need your criticism, it will build me. When you rush to the bathroom to throw up after a very bad meal, come back to the living room and tell me why you felt the need to bring up food that I had slaved for hours cooking for you. Tell me why you could not force it down and let it stay there if for no other reason, for the sole reason that it took a lot of time and effort to cook it. Not to take you on a guilt trip, but just tell me what caused that reaction ok? We good?

I know that I might, from time to time, cook something that may not be appealing to your taste buds. I might get carried away with the garlic and the ginger- I tend to love these spices way too much. You could be allergic to cinnamon and find that I put it in a cake that you could have enjoyed otherwise. During such occasions, try to remember that you are a crowd and with every crowd, there will be those that will hate that cake, those that will demand for more, and those that will agree with me that cinnamon is the best spice ever. There are still those of you who will think that the salt I put in the meals is too much, yet others will find it to be too little. In all this, we will learn from each other and accommodate one another.

I propose a toast – hold up your glasses guys. A, I see you pale nyuma. Let us toast to a new beginning, to a bigger house, to fun times and to two becoming one!

That said, I just served you your first meal. Welcome to our new home fam!


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