PDA: When less is more

You must have been to a social gathering where couples abound; one couple could be seated close together, another seated away from each other. One woman could pretend not to care who their man is talking to as she keenly watches him from the corner of her eyes. Another man could be quietly checking his woman’s behavior as he prays that she does not drink too much or embarrass him in any way. There is a non-verbal language ‘spoken’ by lovers that always communicates their level of security in the relationship to the rest of the world.

If the couple seated apart exchange a look and a smile once in a while, the woman could choose to quickly wink at her man, hoping that no one else will see. If the man, feeling shy about winking back in the presence of so many people, casually puts a hand over one eye, and looks at her, smiling, with one uncovered eye, therefore technically winking back, they could both smile at the genius of the man and by so doing, share a private moment in public. Then I would look on and think “How sweet!”

If the couple seated close together does not shy away from proving that they do all the things that couples do. They could try out all the intimate positions; the man could put his arms around his woman one minute, then the woman could put one hand on his thighs and caress him. They could kiss and fondle and whatnot. They might even whisper to each other and giggle and laugh oblivious of the other people in the room. At one point, their legs could get intertwined such that you wouldn’t tell his from hers. If I avoid looking their direction because I am too embarrassed to witness what happens next. And if I squirm in my seat, as I sense other embarrassed faces trying to keep conversation going, or struggling to sing along to the playing music – anything but look at the two. Then I would look away and think, “Get a room for Chrissake!”

Public Display of Affection is good. With it you make a statement that ‘I have my eyes on no one else but her/him’ There is however, a thin line between adorable PDA, and nauseating PDA just as there is a thin line between an emotion-wrenching love scene (think ‘Titanic’ – the movie), and a porn-inspired love scene (think ‘Spartacus’ – the series). The same thin line separates a woman’s dressing from being sexy or trashy. Every woman must know how to toe this line.

I saw a wedding ceremony once where the groom, when given permission to kiss the bride, took his wife’s face in both hands, looked deep into her eyes and with so much intensity, kissed her on the forehead. This was a modern couple who knew all about locking lips. I thought that that was such an adorable gesture; a gesture of love, and respect for his woman.

PDA should be about your partner and not a performance for an audience. Though it is a public display by virtue of it being done in open view, it should be subtle and in essence private between lovers. What we see often is cheapened PDA – a Public display of horniness not affection. It should be more about your sincere attraction to your lover and not about getting into her pants. I refuse to believe that there is a woman who enjoys being groped in public. That is just plain disrespectful!

Hold hands, give a kiss on the hand, a quick peck on the cheek, unwavering eye contact, a wink, a smile. Small, subtle gestures that speak volumes.After all, a couple that tries too hard to display their ‘affection’, is well…trying too hard.

With PDA, less is more. It is only about love, respect and genuine affection. Stretch it and you have something else; a cheap performance. Stretch it and you have something that is not so beautiful.


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