Marry Him

Marry Him


In a red dress. Holding a glass of wine in your right hand and your clutch bag in your left underarm. What’s that, red wine? No? White wine did you say?

Look around you. What do you see? Nice crowd don’t you agree? Beautiful ladies. Handsome men – men you would love to date someday? Not too far in the future though?

Let’s see…there’s Steve over there. He seems like a nice guy, doesn’t he? Well, he is smart, I’ll tell you that. But he is also married. You don’t want to date a married man. It complicates your life, it’s not worth it, and it wastes your precious time. Steve just celebrated his first anniversary with his wife last week by the way. Such a cute couple, so cute together they are. So no, shift your eyes. Don’t rock that boat.

There is Martin. Martin is not married. Look at him all confident and poised. You would think he owns the room and everyone in it. You like him? He is good looking; I’ll give him that. One problem with Martin though: monogamy and him are sworn enemies. You know Cynthia from Customer Care? Yeah? Yeah. How about Maggie from Accounts? Good. Aaand…is she called Faith? The light skin? Yes, I thought so. Faith from HR. Martin is dating all three of them. What do you mean, of course they all have no idea!

Forget kina Martin and Steve. Shortly, a nice young man will come towards you. His intention initially, will be to fetch a beer for himself from the cash bar. Since you are standing so close to the bar – no don’t move, there, just stay put – he will notice you. You have been quiet most of the night, you are exhausted and you cannot wait to crawl to bed. You can’t wait for this event to end so that you can stop having to say hi, smiling and exchanging niceties. I know how boring you find all these. I know. But stay put.

Charles – for that is the name of the nice young man – will be taken in by you. So much so that he will forget for a minute why he was heading this direction. He will hesitate. Then he will smile at you. You will smile back. Please smile back? He will remember what he needed and ask the barman for a beer. He will look over. Again. He’ll offer another smile. He will debate with his mind whether to come over or not.

The ayes will win.

He will grab his beer, his change, and poise his shoulders as he walks towards you. A smile will still be generously spread across his face.

One glance at him and you will be tempted to brush him off. What, he is not as tall as you like them? Not as strikingly gorgeous as you prefer? He is no Michael Ealy, I know that. Hold your horses girlie. Hold your damn horses.

Forget his looks. Charles is funny. Give him a chance and he will make you forget how bored you get of having to mingle at corporate events. When you finally part ways with him, he will ask for your number.

Give it to him.

And no, don’t interchange the last two digits. Give him your correct number.

He will call you the next day. Ask how you’ve been since the last time you met. You will remind him that that was only yesterday. You’ll both laugh about it. Just checking up on you, he will say. Would you like to have coffee sometime; he will ask on a whim.

Say yes to whim.

Listen to the guy while on the date. Ignore the fact that he will have come by public transport. Owning a car, you will come to realize much later, does not maketh the man. Leave your phone the hell alone. He will want to know you. Genuinely so. Tell him about yourself. Just what you are comfortable with divulging on a first date. Don’t lie to him about who you are.

Don’t do it, the temptation will be strong, but don’t compare him with Teddy.

Teddy drives a BMW. Good for him. He has what, four, five properties? I know how good looking Teddy is – yeah, I’ve seen him. He gyms. And he has that smile. Yes, that one that is now making you all dreamy.

You know what else? Teddy is arrogant and disrespectful. He does not care about you – he proved that. I know that in your young eyes, Charles is no match for Teddy. But Charles is a good guy.

You will never feel the need to be someone you are not with Charles. It will be easy to talk to him about anything; your late parents, your responsibility of raising your siblings, the challenges you face, your fears and your frustrations.

It will not all be rosy. You will get hurts from him. You will also dish out your fair share of hurts. But you will find your way back to each other. Always. And you will mend each other’s brokenness. Your friendship will be that safety net that will stop both of you from falling. Your relationship will stand the test of time.

Suffice to say, the fights will stop and it will slowly get better.

A year from today, at a restaurant somewhere, you will be having your dinner when Charles will go down on one knee.

Down there, on a bended knee, will be a man who is not threatened by your success. On one knee will be a man who loves you for who you are. Look at his eyes. See that glister? It is there now because he is fascinated by you. That night, a year from now, and years to come, look out for it. It will still be there. That is hope and love, respect and adoration all rolled into one.

On one knee, he will pronounce you the most beautiful thing to ever happen to him – and he will mean it.

He will ask you to marry him.

Stretch out your hand. Allow him to put the ring on your finger.

You will be happy with him. Not always, but mostly. He will never be violent with you. Angry, yes. Sometimes. He will respect your no’s and your yeses. He might not look like much right now, but he will make something of himself. That car, that house…they will all come in good time.

So when he asks, say yes.

Marry him.

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