Hailey by any other name…

Mama Hailey, my other name, threatened to change one afternoon when Hailey got back from school and told me she had decided that she does not want to be called Hailey anymore. I know, unbelievable!
“What? Why mum. What’s wrong with your name?” was my reaction. I was shocked of course because I have always believed (conceitedly perhaps?) that I named my children well. I call both my kids ‘Mum’ on a regular basis when we are on good terms, best buds and stuff. Then they do something wrong and I yell out all their three names:
Yeah, I like the effect this has on them. They kinda freeze and look around as if to think “Ooops! She saw that? Does this woman have eyes on her back?” or “Damn, here comes another lecture!” or “Wha….what did I do now?” I can only imagine what goes through their minds when I do that.

Being a mum is fun. Only until your kids turn into teenagers, then you start pulling out your hair, strand after strand. After snakes, teenagers scare me.  

“I want to change my name” Hailey said
“What do you want to be called instead?” I prodded
“I want to be called Jane” she replied matter-of-factly 
I expected some phenomenal name, you know. You don’t pass off a name like Hailey only to choose a name like Jane (no offense Jane) but Jane is just so..so… ‘Plain Jane’, you know? Please tell me I am not alone on this one. I expected a name like Felicity, Gwendolyne, Gwyneth, Aurora…ok, I’m pushing it. But you catch my drift? 
“Jane? Why Jane, baby girl?”
She was quiet.
“Mum, Hailey is a very good name, let nobody lie to you. Don’t change your name. It’s a very good name” I stressed the VERY. GOOD. Just for emphasis.
“OK” she agreed.
Alrightythen! That was easy?
PHEW! She is still Hailey. And I am still mama Hailey. God knows where that was coming from. I am guessing she likes someone in school called Jane. Or maybe her teacher made a remark in passing, like “Hailey? Why weren’t you given an easy name like Jane?” Or she heard someone telling Jane that she has a good name? Or some braggart called Jane kept telling her that the name Jane is better than Hailey? Seriously Jane? No offense sweetheart but your name ain’t all that.
I don’t know what brought this on but am glad we put it to rest and she never pursued it anymore. In your face, JANE! Oh, you wanna cry now Jane? 
If I were Hailey, I would be on my knees right about now, thanking God that she does not bear a ridiculous name the likes of ‘North West’. Kim Kardashian’s newborn daughter has every right to demand a name change when she is older. If she ever does, I will completely have her back. North West. Tsk! Not Hailey though. No. I love Hailey. And I love mama Hailey too…
What’s in a name anyway? The other day, Hailey and her sister were playing house then Hailey kept calling “Elkana! Elkana! Elkana!”
We got confused and asked her who Elkana was.
She pointed at Heidi who seemed not to be getting with the program.
“She is not called Heidi, she is Elkana” Hailey verbally ‘baptized’ her sister.
I then noticed that Heidi had Hailey’s school bag strapped on her back, and it dawned on me that she was supposed to be Hailey’s school-going daughter. On many occasions I have heard Heidi calling “Mum” and when I responded, she would shoo me away and tell me that she was in fact not calling me but Hailey, her “mother” in the game.
Elkana? Really? Of all the names she could think of…? My Hailey is something else.
Mama Jane, Mama Elkana or Mama Hailey? I pick mama Hailey any day of the week.
Back to Elkana. Isn’t Elkana a boy’s name anyway?

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