There I was, walking to the stage to get a vehicle to take me to work. It’s almost 9am, and I am running late (what else is new!). You know the way you may be walking then you find yourself walking in step with someone, yet you are not really ‘together’? Yeah? I found myself walking step by step with another gentleman though he seemed not to be in a hurry. Why is it that I sometimes think I am walking very fast only to be overtaken by someone (mostly men) who appear to be walking slower than me? I always wondered to myself. Maybe my math teacher in school forgot to teach me that x=2y (where x is one step taken by a male, and y is a step taken by a female). Or maybe he did teach me one hot afternoon but I was not paying attention-I never paid much attention during afternoon lessons.
Anyhoo, moving on swiftly……
As ‘we’ (are we an item now?) continue walking with my stranger, another man appears from my side of the road, from a ka building and smiles at my stranger while shouting some greetings “Niaje?”, or something along those lines. My stranger responds and I try to walk by faster so that I can leave the two to their chitchat.
For the life of me, I am unable to leave them behind (refer to my formula above?) and so since the friend to my stranger starts walking with ‘us’ towards the same direction, we appear to be together and strange enough, they do nothing to close the gap between them. Shauri yao!
I am therefore forced to eavesdrop on their conversation – Will you believe me if I tell you that I wasn’t enjoying doing this? Hehe…yeah, I wouldn’t believe me either. From their conversation, I gather they were mere acquaintances;
My stranger: Kumbe unaishi hapo (points at building)
The ‘friend’: eeh…ndiyo. (Sounding dodgy, like he doesn’t want to talk about it)
My stranger: I thought unaishi (names place) ama ulihama?
Friend: Hapana sijahama. Bibi yangu mwingine anaishi hapa.
My stranger: (He is turning out to be so nosy this stranger of mine) Haiya, uko na bibi wawili?
Friend: Haha….(bashfully) Ndiyo, nina wawili
I am still trying to walk fast but wapi? Don’t look at me like that, I really tried to give them their privacy….what did you expect me to do, run?
My Stranger: How do you manage bwana?
Friend: (stammers) heeheee…..eeh. I just manage
My stranger: Managing one is hard enough bwana. Bibi mmoja ni kazi sasa wewe wawili unawaweza aje
Friend: Saa zingine inabidi bwana. Nimejengea wote wawili nyumba huko (names some place)
My stranger: Na wanasikizana?
Friend: e-eeh wanaskizana! (LIAR!) Unaishi peke yako?
My stranger: (nodding) eeeh. (dude looks old, and is still single? Clearly, he needs help!)
We near an interception and I notice My stranger is heading to the stage just like me, so sadly we have to part with ‘our’ friend as he was going to the opposite direction.
My stranger: Sawa basi, si baadaye.
I smile to myself as I stand at the stage to wait for a vehicle to take me to work. My stranger goes to a vendor by the roadside to buy a newspaper.
Why do men talk like that? Ati ‘managing’ a woman is hard work?! How many diaper changes do we need in a day exactly? How many feeds at night?
Should we start talking about how excruciatingly difficult it is to ‘manage’ a man?
I think we should. So next on Reneeissance, I will tell you what women go through to survive- yes, to survive men.