Give My Husband Back

Give My Husband Back, Jolene, Miley Cyrus

The year is 2018.

The time is 11:37 PM, on a Monday night.

The location is somewhere along Kandara Road in Kileleshwa, Nairobi.

I step out of the shower, I dry myself, tie a towel around my petite frame, brush my teeth and slip into my nightgown. I then settle on the couch to watch an episode or two of The End of The Fucking World before going to bed. A cup of lemon tea would go well with some Netflix, so I put the kettle on.

My phone has other plans for the night.

11:53 PM: Phone vibrates. Incoming call from Ben10. Strange. Because Ben left my apartment one and a half hours ago to go home to his wife and children. He never calls me when he’s with the wife. Maybe he forgot something, I answer the phone. Big mistake.

You bitch!

Excuse me?

You heard me, bitch! Stay away from my husband. What is wrong with you? You need to find your own man–

Crap.

I hang up.

That was Diana. Ben’s wife. Not to be rude, but she should be arguing with her husband and not me.

I pick up the remote control, point it to the TV screen and promptly lose my mind in the world of Netflix. For a split second, I think of Ben and what he must be going through right now. He must be getting an earful. Hehe.

I smile because I warned him about this. “Diana will find out,” I said.

“No, she won’t.” He said.

“Yes. She will. They always find out.”

Did he listen? No, he didn’t. He should have listened to me. I’m clicking on The End of The Fucking World series. I’m playing the show. “What weird dark shit goes on in the Brit world anyway,” I think to myself as I catch up with the show from where I left it. I sip my lemon tea. “No, Ben. You and your wife will not ruin my evening.” I slide deeper into the couch and pull the throw blanket around me. Not gonna ruin it.

My phone disagrees.

11: 59 PM: Phone vibrates. One new message from Ben10. We all know by now that Ben is a sitting duck trying to wiggle out of an uncovered affair. No way is he sending me messages at this hour. For all I know, he is delivering the “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” statement.

I hit pause.

I open message. Who do you think you are? Just how pathetic are you that you cannot find your own man? You don’t know the wrath I can unleash on you. You better run. Find a hole to hide in and hide your sorry ass because I’m coming for you.

Damn you, Ben.

I hit play.

12:05 AM: Phone vibrates. One new message from Ben10.

I hit pause.

I open message. You are a homewrecker. I hope the people around you know that. I’ve seen the photos you’ve been sharing with my husband. I will share them on social media and tag you so that the whole world can see the kind of person you are. I’m about to make your life a living hell.

I hit play.

James and Alyssa in The End of The Fucking World are trying to book a double room to spend the night. “A double room with a double bed for double sex,” are Alyssa’s words. “I really need to cry,” Alyssa thinks as she looks at James.

12:12 AM: Phone vibrates. One new message from Ben10.

I hit pause.

I open message. This is the face – it’s a picture of me all right – that will be on every social media platform tomorrow. Everybody will know that you are a homewrecker. I will make your life a living hell. You messed with the wrong person.

I hit play.

James and Alyssa are now in the hotel room. James is prepared to commit his first real murder. Alyssa finally gets a chance to cry in the hotel room bathroom. She lets out the waterworks. I envy her.

12:16 AM: Phone vibrates. One new message from Ben10.

I hit pause.

I open message. A picture of two cute boys, one aged five and the other nine, fills my screen. I hope you are happy that you are about to deny these little kids their father you homewrecker. Jason, on the left, has a heart condition. Because of you, Ben is neglecting his son’s healthcare. Let that eat at your conscience if you have any, you stupid witch.

I hit play.

Damn you, Ben.

Alyssa is saying something about going to her father’s. James is saying something too. I think Alyssa asks to be cuddled or something. James obliges and they both lie on top of the double bed in the double room. There’s no double sex.

I turn the TV off and finish off my cup of tea. I pick my phone from the couch and switch off the living room lights.

I lie in bed awake for a while. I turn off the nightstand lamp. I really need to cry.

1:04 AM: Phone vibrates. I’m startled to wakefulness. One new message from Ben10.

I turn on the nightstand lamp.

I open message. Woman to woman, I cannot raise my sons alone. The boys need him. Jason needs him. Give my husband back. Please let him go. Please.

1:05 AM: I compose a message.

He’s all yours.

I hit send.

Message sent to Ben10.

I scroll through my contacts and I select the contact saved as Ben10.

I hit delete.

1:07 AM: Phone vibrates. One new message from Ben10.

I open message.

Thank you.

I turn off my phone, place it on the nightstand, switch off the lights and disappear under the covers.

I don’t have the urge to cry anymore.

It, after all, is not the end of the fucking world.

Image Credit

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