I Know Enough
I know how it will feel.
Words will fail us, typically. I will avoid looking at you – blame it on my shyness? To cover up, I will try to talk. My foot will end up in my mouth a few times. I know that you will see through that. I will say a few stupid things in a bid to sound cool. I will put up an act. A terrible, terrible act. Your quietness will not help me one bit. Your stare will only help to make me more nervous.
I know that you will watch me make a fool of myself. That you will smile even. I will therefore catch the amusement in your eyes and throw it forcefully back at you. If my throw is good, it will catch you square between your eyes. You will threaten to throw it back at me.
I will duck and hide.
You will come after me. I know that you will find me – I want you to find me. I hope that you will close the distance between us. Take my hand and pull me out of hiding. I will finally look at you for the very first time. I will really look at you.
You will stand there and allow me to take you in. I will take my time, I know that. I will inhale you. I will close my eyes and drench myself with your aura. You will come even closer, allowing me to douse myself in you. Music will start playing in my head. I know that music. I’ve heard it before: Earned it by The Weeknd.
It will play slowly. I will feel your hand let go of mine. But you will still stand there. Watching my closed eyes. My heart will beat. Fast. I will feel your hand reach out to touch my face. My cheeks will burn at the feel of your touch.
I know that my lips will feel dry. I will moisten them with my tongue.
I will open my eyes to find yours.
You will move even closer. There will be no distance between us. My bosom will rest on your chest. Our legs will touch at the knee. Your hand will leave my cheeks to go around me and find the small of my back. I will feel your breath. I will taste it; it will be hot and salty like the desert wind.
I will hold my breath. I will feel your heart beating. Fast. I will close my eyes and listen to your heart beat. I know that my heartbeat will try to drown yours. I know because it is the competitive type. So it will beat furiously against yours. Soon, both will get into a rhythm. A rhythm that will merge with the music to make a glorious symphony.
I will remind myself to breathe out.
I know that I will open my eyes to find yours closed. That I will take the chance to watch you. I will stretch out my hand to touch your face. I will trace your jaw with my forefinger. I will touch your lips. They will feel soft.
I will bite my lower lip. You will open your eyes, lock them with me, imprison them and refuse to let them go. You will pull me even closer and I will wonder how that is even possible. Then I will know how your whole body feels against mine. Then I will know.
I will release my lip, notice that I bit it a tad hard. You will touch the place my teeth burrowed. And as you do so, your other hand will come out to hold back my hair.
It will happen just I imagined it. I know it will. Your lips will find mine in no minute. They will be soft and fleshy. You will use them to plant a kiss on mine. Then you will stop, pull your head back and watch me for a second or two.
The desire in my eyes will not escape you. You will see it. Watch it threaten to burn both of us. You will hold back – enjoy watching me want you. I think you will enjoy it more than is necessary really. It’ll feel like a game of chess; your move, your eyes will tell mine. I will hesitate. Look away.
Only that I will see nothing.
I will try to find a window to look away into. There will be no window. Only an open door. I will notice the open door.
Your hand will caress me back to you.
My breathe will threaten to suffocate me. I will pull you by the back of your head. Our lips will meet each other half way. This time, I will taste my heart in my mouth as I part my lips to let yours in. I know that mine will tremble before locking into yours. They will be dry, then moist. Cold, then hot. Slow, then fast.
I will breathe you in. My head will spin. The room will cease to exist.
I will feel your heart pounding against mine. I will feel you come alive. I will dance with you on top of that cloud.
The cloud will hold us up there. It will make a footstool for our light feet. We will dance. We will feel. We will give and take.
Cold wind will rush in through the open door. I know that it will hit our faces. That our cloud will disappear as fast as it appeared. I know that we will find our feet grounded solidly on the cold floor again.
I know that we will pull apart.
That I will approach the door. That I will stand by it and look back at you. I will recognize that knowing look you will give me. Your smile will be my cue to leave.
You will know then that I just came for the kiss.